have you shaken hands with Christ in earnest

"I fear that you have never known me well. If you saw my inner side, it is possible that you would pity me, but you would hardly give me either love or respect. Men mistake me the whole length of the heavens. My sins prevail over me, and terrors of their guiltiness. I am put often to ask if Christ and I did ever shake hands together in earnest."

From Letters of Samuel Rutherford, a letter to David Dickson.